A casual visit to an acquaintance’s home turned into a powerful reflection on how we often overlook opportunities to help those closest to us. During the visit, a man walked in with his two teenage children. After he left, my friend mentioned he was the husband of her late friend. She also shared that she had tried to match him with a banker who hadn’t responded positively to his interest.

When I asked how well she knew the banker, she admitted they barely knew each other. She simply admired the woman’s “finesse” anytime she visited the bank. At that moment, I glanced around the room. I counted at least three single women within her close circle, including a cousin and a divorced friend. And then it hit me—too many people overlook those within their immediate reach when offering help or opportunities.

We Often Miss the Ones Closest to Us

Many people tend to look far and wide to do good, ignoring the needs right beside them. Whether it’s matchmaking, job referrals, or lending support, we sometimes romanticize helping strangers over empowering those already in our circle. But how can you be surrounded by single, struggling women and still look elsewhere when playing Cupid?

One woman once told me about her growing discomfort with her sister-in-law, a young widow, who had become unusually close to her husband. Instead of creating a rift, I advised her to help match her sister-in-law with a decent man. She took my advice. It worked like magic. That small gesture restored her peace of mind and gave the young widow a chance at happiness.

Helping Others Is a Form of Self-Preservation

Sometimes, the best way to protect yourself is to help others flourish. When you help someone build a meaningful life, you reduce the chances of them unintentionally becoming a disruption in yours. Think of it as emotional insurance. By lifting up those around you, you create a safer and more fulfilling ecosystem for everyone.

How can you know someone—a friend, a relative, a colleague—who is clearly lonely and not think of introducing them to someone who is actively searching for companionship? Especially when that connection could change both lives for the better?

Fear Often Holds People Back

Of course, not everyone will agree. Some people have had bad experiences and are now hesitant. But we shouldn’t let one bad outcome stop us from doing good. If something you do has the potential to bring joy, do it anyway. Don’t hold back out of fear. That’s not how humanity thrives.

When I introduce people, I don’t meddle in their relationship afterward. I connect them and step away. I do not see myself as doing them a favor. Instead, I see it as part of my life’s mission—my contract with the universe. That way, whatever happens between them doesn’t affect my conscience or peace of mind.

Give Without Expectation, Receive with Grace

It’s important to avoid feeling owed because you connected people. Don’t expect them to worship you or keep you involved in every step. When we start to think of our good deeds as transactions, we lose the beauty of genuine giving.

But on the flip side, if someone ever lifts a finger to improve your life—whether they introduced you to your spouse, helped you get a job, or supported you emotionally—then gratitude is the least you can offer. Loyalty and kindness should follow too.

People often struggle internally before choosing to help. They worry—“Will this backfire?” “Will they hurt me later?” “Will I regret this?” If you know how much mental effort it takes to do good, you’d never take someone’s kindness for granted.

Ingratitude Is a Silent Killer of Relationships

Too many of us forget the hands that fed us when we were starving—emotionally, financially, or socially. The average human being quickly forgets the people who helped them rise. This forgetfulness is dangerous. It creates cycles of bitterness and isolation. The truth is, most people aren’t asking for payback. They just want respect, kindness, and the assurance that their effort wasn’t wasted.

Conclusion: Audit Your Relationships Today

This year, take stock of your life and your connections. Make sure you haven’t replaced gratitude with envy. Ensure that those who should sit at your table are still there. Reflect on whether you’ve pushed away someone who genuinely meant well. Clear the air where you can. Let friendship thrive where there was enmity. Let generosity live where there was neglect.

Life is richer when your circle thrives with you. And while helping others may not always be rewarded or appreciated, it is still worth it. Why? Because the good you do is not just a service to others—it’s a sacred contract with life itself.